i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
