I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
