That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
