Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just pynch a tree in the face
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
