The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
