Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
