I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
