I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
