You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
