6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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