i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
