if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
