"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
