so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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