We're facebook friends in real life
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
