I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
