No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
