Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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