He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize