Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize