return my video game
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
