i just google imaged poop.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
