Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
