I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
