A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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