There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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