She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
