She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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