why do cheetos always look like penises
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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