I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
