I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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