just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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