I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
