last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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