Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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