I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
All I want is dick and wine.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
