i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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