I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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