help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
