so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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