In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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