My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
