I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
