This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
