I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize