It's Friday. Sex?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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