I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
