I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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