I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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