Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
