we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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