party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
