Your face is a jimmy john
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
