Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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