I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
