whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
