Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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