just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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