i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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