so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
