I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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